Connecting to server…
You’re now chatting with a random stranger. Say hi!
Stranger: DOWN WITH KANYE! GO TAYLOR!!!
You: what is a kanye?
Stranger: kanye west?
Stranger: the rapper!!
Stranger: tah one who hurt talyor swift!!
You: still not entirely sure what you’re talking about, but i have heard of this ‘taylor swift’ wench currently spamming muggle headlines.
You: she really is one downright annoying cunt, and i was thinking of having macnair blast her to bits at one of her teenybopper, sideshow-resembling concerts, but a kanye sounds much more enticing.
You: tell me, what does one have to do to obtain a kanye west?
Stranger: hes famous how can you not know..he hurt taylor swift at the vma’s
You: this instrument wields the power to hurt even the most significant of muggles?
You: this settles it.
You: ACCIO KANYE!
Stranger: ???????????????????????
You: what the—
You: WHAT IS THIS THING?
You: why does it sing so oddly?
You: i fear i have accidentally activated its power upon myself!
You: it has begun to repeat the same awful lyrics in a heavily computerized voice!
You: thank god i am impervious to death.
You: BY GOD THE WEAPON HAS NOW ADORNED RIDICULOUSLY-SHAPED SUNGLASSES THAT REFLECT ALL UNFORGIVABLE CURSES!
You: CALL DOLOHOV! TELL HIM I HAVE AN INCREDIBLY EFFEMINATE BROWN MAN WITH CROP CIRCLES EMBEDDED INTO ITS HAIR AND THAT ITS SONG IS ENOUGH TO DEFEAT THE ENTIRE OPPOSITION AT ONCE!
Stranger: omg.„
You: oh
You: also, tell him to bring ear plugs
You: if i have to listen to one more “how could you be so heartless” i’m feeding it to nagini
Your conversational partner has disconnected.
Love is always my intention. Nothing more and nothing less.
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